What are your top sex tips? The winner of the competition!
At the end of October 2022, we ran a competition with Girl on the Net to gather some top sex tips from followers on Twitter. We’re bombarded with messages about sex in the mainstream media – some good, some bad, some ugly – but we know that there’s a lot of wisdom and experience right here in our own communities. So here are some of the top sex tips that were submitted during the comp, plus an announcement of the winner – who gets a £50 voucher to spend on whatever they like from the shop!
It’s really hard to pick a winner for this competition – there were so many incredible entries. Below is just a selection of some of our favourites, but you can read more over on Girl on the Net’s site too.
Lube, toys and communication!
There were a few really key themes that came out of the #PGSexTips hashtag – lube was one of the stars of the show (which delighted us!), and there were lots of great tips on how to incorporate sex toys into your play without feeling the need to make them the main event. Check out Girl on the Net’s blog for some of these.
We also particularly loved some of the more reassuring tips: reminding people that not everyone has to enjoy sex in the same way, and affirming that their experiences can be joyful even if they do not look exactly like other people’s.
Violet Fawkes reminded us of the importance of staying in the moment.
#PGSEXTIPS Comparison is the thief of joy. Stay present, in your body and your mind, and don’t compare your partner, or yourself to other people and experiences. https://t.co/2l7e95QwIW
— Violet Fawkes (she/her) (@FawkesViolet) October 12, 2022
Some people reminded us of a salient fact that we really wish we’d been told in sex ed classes… sex is supposed to be fun!
#PGsextips ignore everything society and porn taught you. If you're all having fun, you're doing it right! https://t.co/EM5j7aEMna
— Tea (@TeaPoweredTech) October 24, 2022
And while we’re on the subject of making it fun, some of the top sex tips gave incredible practical advice about just how to do that: from dirty talk and hot pre-shag communication to comfort breaks and experimental masturbation…
#PGSextips You can make every step of having sex, sexy. You want a condom? "Your cock is so big that i need to contain that power". Gloves? "Your pussy is so pretty that i want to threat it with extra care". You get the general idea. And it also helps to keep the sexy mood going
— Redskull MINORS DNI 🔞 (@Redskull7) October 24, 2022
There are some directly useful communication tips in there too – Amy reminded us all about non-verbal communication, as well as verbal cues:
#PGSexTips The key to good sex is good listening. Pay attention to your partner's words but also to their body's signals and non-verbal cues at every stage. If in doubt, ask and really listen to the answer. https://t.co/g6BM6nZpp9
— Amy 'Not a Unicorn' Norton (@AmyIsPolyam) October 20, 2022
Kelvin Sparks gave a really helpful jumping-off point for anyone wanting to start a meaningful conversation with their partner about desire…
And The Big Gay Review reminded us of the sexy power of ‘may I?’
Top sex tips: the winner!
#PGSexTips Sex is not an escalator featuring a series of moves until PIV/something inserted somewhere. Goal focus can be fun but there are other things to enjoy as well.
Talk. Have fun. Laugh. Try stuff. Brush yourself off if they don't work. Lubricate liberally. https://t.co/xRVfeWuLkI
— Magickmikeyboy 💉💉💉 (@Magickmikeyboy) October 26, 2022
We loved this one not only because it manages to cram so much great advice into one tweet, but because the overall message is one of exploration and fun. The dominant narrative around sex, which we’re still working to dismantle (not just ‘we’ as in ‘society’ but ‘we’ as in ‘it’s one of our goals as a sex toy company too’!) is that sex always has to be PIV (penis in vagina). It doesn’t. There are as many different ways to have sex as there are people who have it: with or without toys, with any combination of genitals and kinks, and with huge variety in things like frequency of orgasms, time spent doing it, enthusiasm for it, and much more.
It’s a cliché to say that it was hard to pick a winner, but in this case it’s absolutely true. There are so many fabulous tips in here that we really want to give prizes to you all. In lieu of prizes for everyone, please accept our enormous thanks for joining in – and doing so with such wisdom, wit and care.
One of the reasons the discussion about sex can be confusing and frightening for people is because for so long it’s been weighed down with shame. Where there’s shame, there’s stigma, and breaking down the stigma attached to sex is an extremely valuable thing to do: you’re all incredible.
Huge thanks to everyone who joined in with this competition, and did your part for helping to tackle the stigma, and have healthy (and fun!) conversations about sex. We loved your top sex tips.