While it might seem that way, erectile dysfunction (ED) does not necessarily mean the end of sex, masturbation and orgasms. This guide has been created to provide information about the wide variety of sex toys available which can be used by people with ED. It may also be helpful for those with genital difference or genital loss. Sex toys are not a treatment of erectile dysfunction, but they can be part of achieving a fulfilling sex life and enjoying sexual play alone or with a partner.
What is Erectile Dysfunction?
Erectile dysfunction is the inability to develop or maintain an erection. It affects many different people at different stages of their life for many different reasons. These can range from physical causes such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, spinal cord injury and drug and alcohol use to physiological causes including stress and anxiety.
There are lots of treatment options available which can help address erectile dysfunction and we won’t be covering them in this guide. For medical and treatment advice, please speak to your doctor, particularly if you are experiencing unexpected changes to your erections as it may be a symptom of an underlying health condition.
Sex toys for Erectile Dysfunction
It is perfectly possible to have sex when you have erectile dysfunction – it might just mean broadening your definition of sex a bit. Take your time to think about what it is you would like to achieve and hopefully some of the sex toys recommended in this guide will be able to help you get there.
If you have never used them before, introducing sex toys to the bedroom can be a bit intimidating, or make you feel as if you are a failure for needing them. Just remember – using sex toys is totally normal and, more importantly, fun! With an open mind and a sense of humor, sex toys can help you experience deep sexual pleasure, with or without an erection.
Achieving and Maintaining an Erection
Depending on the way erectile dysfunction affects you, sex toys may be able to help you to achieve and erection, or help you to last longer once you have one.
Cock rings are generally made from a ring or band of stretchy material such as silicone or rubber. Slipped around the base of your penis a cock ring will gently constrict blood flow. Through trapping blood in your penis’s erectile tissue they can help make your erection firmer and increase sensitivity. Also, although they won’t help you to achieve an erection it may help maintain one for longer. There are lots of choices available, including ones with a built-in vibrator for your partner’s pleasure.
- The Tantus Super Soft C-Ring – This simple silicone cock ring is a great choice for first-timers. It’s thicker than usual band ensures a comfortable fit with no pinching. It is also stretchy enough to be used around the penis or the penis and testicles at the same time.
There are lots of myths and misinformation surrounding penis pumps. While there is not much evidence to suggest that they can create long term changes to your size, many people report that regular use has improved blood flow and helped them to achieve erections more regularly. They work by creating a vacuum around your penis which draws in blood, generating an erection. Some people have also had success by using a pump before sex to get an erection and then slipping on a cock ring to help maintain it.
While they are generally safe we do suggest doing your research before purchasing a penis pump. Make sure you buy one with a release valve which quickly reduces any pressure and do not leave it in place for more than 30 minutes at a time.
- Bathmate Hydromax – Unlike many penis pump the Bathmate uses water instead of air to generate a vacuum. It creates a safe even pressure and is simple to use, without the need to attach hand pumps or hoses.
Masturbation and Foreplay with Erectile Dysfunction
In the mood for some solo fun or want to explore pleasure with a partner? Sex toys may be able to help – with or without an erection. Don’t forget sexual pleasure is not just about racing to orgasm. Try new sensations or scenarios, involve all your senses and explore what excites you.
Vibrators are not just for vaginas! Held or rubbed against your penis they can provide deep, constant stimulation, which for some people can trigger orgasm, even without an erection. Smaller bullet or pebble shaped vibrators may be easier to use than ‘anatomical’ ones which are designed for insertion. They can be cupped in the palm of your (or a partners) hand and stroked along the underside of the penis. Larger wand style vibrators may appeal to those who want strong, powerful stimulation. You may want to focus vibration on the most sensitive parts of the penis including the frenulum, the head and the underside of the shaft. The testicles and perineum can be great fun to – explore and find what works for you!
- The Pulse III Solo – This vibrating masturbation sleeve has been specifically designed for people with erectile dysfunction. It uses an oscillating plate to stimulate the most sensitive parts of the penis and can be used with or without an erection. The Pulse III Duo adds external vibration for a partner so you can experience simultaneous sensations.
- The Doxy Wand – This wand style vibrator could be a great choice for people who have experienced a loss of sensation and need more intense stimulation to get off. It delivers deeply powerful rumbling vibration that will make your toes curl.
Anal play can be a big taboo for some people, however this area of your body is packed with nerve endings. The prostate in particular can be a source of intense sexual pleasure which you don’t need an erection to achieve. You can reach your prostate with an inserted finger, but there are lots of anal toys available which have been specifically designed for prostate stimulation.
With any kind of anal play make sure you use lots of lube and take your time. If you are inserting anything, make sure it has a wide flared base so it can’t get ‘lost’.
- The Aneros Helix Syn – Aneros prostate massagers have been designed to be used completely hands free. The manufacturers report that the stimulation they provide can result in very strong, earth shattering orgasms which fans have dubbed the ‘Super-O’.
Having penetrative sex with a partner can be a really important for many people in maintaining intimacy and having a fulfilling sex life. This can be particularly frustrating for people with erectile dysfunction or genital difference/loss. Incorporating toys in to your sex life with a partner can be a great way to sustain the intimacy and connection of penetrative sex – as well as the fun!
If you are unable to achieve or maintain an erection, but still want to have penetrative sex with a partner, you may want to explore using a dildo in combination with a harness – sometimes called a strap-on.
Dildos come in all shapes and sizes – everything from ultra realistic to rainbow coloured with glitter. There is sure to be one out there that suits you and your partners tastes. You can use a dildo by hand, but for a more natural feel you may want to also invest in a harness. This will enable you to thrust away hands free – just check first that the dildo you wish to use is harness compatible.
- The Menage a Trois and Spareparts Deuce – Unlike the majority of the harnesses out there these two have been designed with penises in mind.
Still not sure?
If you have any questions or you are still not sure what products would work for you send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will be happy to help.
Note on recommended products:
We have chosen the products to recommend in this guide based on user reviews and feedback, not at the request of manufacturers. We aim to stock as many of these products as possible at The Pleasure Garden, but where we are unable to currently stock them we will provide a link directly to the manufacturer. We do not generate any income from these external links.